I have to start by saying this is a really hard post for me to write. If my first pregnancy were to have been viable, I would have just given birth this past week. Instead of holding my firstborn in my arms, I am busy pinching the flab on my stomach each night so my husband can inject me with hormones. I knew my due date week was approaching, but it didn't really hit me until I opened up my Facebook today to see a picture of my college friend holding her newborn son right after delivery. We had found out we were pregnant on the same day and our due dates had been days apart. BIG obvious difference - she carried her miracle to term and I have nothing but unfulfilled dreams.
Here is a pic of hubby and I just hours before I realized I was losing my baby. We were on top of the world celebrating 5 years of marriage...just absolutely beaming! Little did we know that our lives were about to turn upside down.
I still can't understand why this had to happen...I am missing my angel.
Upside - Still in love more than ever.
*Current cycle news - I had my initial ultrasound & blood work this morning and it went well. We continue to move forward. Every breath I take is followed by a prayer.
4 comments:
The night before we had our bad ultrasound we had a big dinner party, I can't even look at those pictures. Its physically painful to see how happy and beaming we were...
***tears***
BIG hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss :(
I'm sorry :o( Nothing can be said to make the pain go away. Just remember how strong you are to not only move forward and keep trying, but to go through something so physically and emotionally difficult in order to finally have the family you've always dreamed of. IVF is not for the weak at heart, so when things get rough, just remember how much stronger and more dedicated you are than most people!
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