Half Way!!!!

Tomorrow I will officially be 20 weeks - I really can't believe it. Things are going well and I am feeling GREAT! I have so much energy back now and I've actually been able to stay up long enough for some of my favorite shows at night. :) I am feeling movement daily and usually multiple times throughout the day. The round ligament pain has been more sporadic lately. I've been getting great amounts of sleep, although I wake up with a sore back every morning. I'm still not used to only sleeping on my sides. I think it's time to invest in some sort of pregnancy/body pillow. Recommendations are welcomed!

I am super anxious and NERVOUS for our big Anatomy Scan coming up this Tuesday. I am just praying so hard that this lil one is nice and healthy!!! I'm also praying for all my friends that have recently found out they are pregnant and those that are starting new cycles. Love you all!

I'll leave you with the 20 week bumpdate...we were blessed with some amazing summer-like temps here in Milwaukee this past weekend - 80 degrees and sunshine both days...in MARCH?!?!

18 Weeks

Tomorrow I will officially be 18 weeks!! The weeks have actually been flying by and we're getting closer and closer to our Anatomy Scan on the 20th - can't wait! :)

Size of baby: About 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he/she weighs almost 7 ounces.

Symptoms: Week 17 was the first week that I didn't feel nauseous at all...which was refreshing! I'm still incredibly tired all the time, finding myself in bed by about 7:00 p.m. each night. The round ligament pain has started, especially when I get up in the morning.

Cravings: Shamrock Shakes

Aversions: I really thought I wanted a meatball sub yesterday...so sent hubby off to Subway for me. When he returned with it, I took one bite and then gagged. There goes lunch.

Sleep: Definitely sleeping much better now. I do wake up a few times through the night to make sure I am sleeping on one of my sides. Most of the time, I already am - but every once in a while I wake up and need to re-position myself.

Maternity Clothes: Yes! I don't fit into any of my regular pants anymore.

What I Miss: Absolutely nothing!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Finding out the gender on March 20th!

Special Pregnancy Moments: At 16w6d I felt the baby for the first time. We were in the car on the way to breakfast and I literally made hubby pull the car over on the side of the road. I usually feel him/her now at least once a day and only when I am laying or sitting down. I'm looking forward to the movements becoming stronger as the weeks progress. I had read so many blogs about what it was "supposed" to feel like - yet to me, it's really indescribable. I'd say the closest analogy I can come up with is that it's like popcorn popping in your tummy! :) I knew for sure it was movement that I was feeling because it is something I have never, ever felt before.

I'm still using the doppler and very proud to say that I'm only using it every other day now. This next week we're going to try to move to once every three days. I am slowly trying to wean myself off of it.

I allowed my husband to tag a picture of me on FB that shows off my bump. I didn't officially announce it on FB yet, so this was a HUGE step for me. I have received lots of messages and texts saying "Um, is there something you need to tell me?!?!?" :)

Bumpdate: I have had a few requests for some belly shots - so here they are.

11 weeks

14 weeks

17 weeks 2 days

Today - 17 weeks 6 days

Virgin Mary Please

Well, there wasn't anymore hiding it at work this week. The cat is out of the bag and my staff knows I'm pregnant. I seemed to "pop" in the last week or two and hiding it really doesn't work anymore. I was a bit overwhelmed with everyone finding out and knowing.

My students (3rd graders) were so cute & innocent. On Thursday, a few of them gathered the courage to ask me..."Do you have a baby in there?" I smiled and said it was either a baby or maybe I just ate too many donuts. They thought that was hilarious and couldn't stop teasing me all day about donuts..ha.

My appointment with the OB this past week was pretty uneventful, which I suppose is a good thing. I guess I was disappointed I didn't get to have an ultrasound this time. They took a urine sample, weighed me (+ 5 pounds), answered the questions I had, and listened to the heartbeat. :) Then the OB was on his way and I was left already anticipating our next appointment in 4 more weeks!!!!!!!!! The next appointment will be at 20 weeks and will be our anatomy scan. Counting down the days already.

Symptoms wise - it depends on the day. Some days the upset stomach only acts up at night and others it comes and goes throughout the day. I am still extremely tired and craving lots of sleep/rest. I'm waking up multiple times throughout the night and oftentimes it's difficult to fall back to sleep. My doppler is still making me very happy and I'm down to using it only once a day (instead of twice). This week I'm aiming towards only using it every other day. We'll see how that goes. This past week my aversions seemed to be breakfast food including eggs, hash browns, and bacon - which is not at all like me since breakfast is usually my favorite meal of the day. The one thing that always tastes good to me (since week 8) is a Virgin Bloody Mary. I've had one the past 3 days in a row..yum! :) Don't worry Dad - I get them with very little spice.

15 Weeks

I have a lot on my mind and I really don't even know where to start, so I apologize if this post is all over the place.

Tomorrow is 15 weeks - I can't believe it. Every morning I wake up and just thank God for giving me another day of this pregnancy. It still doesn't feel real. I'm still having trouble allowing myself to feel excited. I've been let down so many times, it's hard to accept that this could possibly turn out good. My biggest struggle the past three months has been letting go of the fear and it continues to be an ongoing challenge. Those of you that have experienced miscarriage/s before, is there ever a point in your current pregnancy where you were just able to completely let go and be excited?

I did take a step forward this weekend...a big step forward. I purchased my first round of maternity clothing. I was really getting sick of wearing leggings to work nearly every day and the one pair of dress pants I had left were officially too snug. And wow what a difference the new clothing makes. My favorite buy was a pair of maternity skinny jeans - super cute and SO comfortable. I'm actually a bit shocked at how much I grew this past week. I was going to try and make it one more week at work before spilling the news, but I don't think I'm going to make it. The plan is to tell my principal tomorrow morning before work and just go from there with the rest of the staff.

I went ahead and ordered a Doppler and it arrived last Tuesday. I LOVE IT!!! :) I was surprised with how quickly we found baby's heartbeat the first couple times using it. When I decided to get one, I told myself I would use it like once every few days or so. Well, that has not been happening. I have been using every single day. It just helps to provide myself with that extra reassurance that everything is okay in there. I got the Sonoline B (3hz) and would highly recommend it.

Symptoms wise - My nausea really seems to kick in the evening after dinner. I haven't been sleeping all that well -waking up numerous times throughout the night with an upset stomach. My body is still demanding 10+ hours of sleep each night.

My midwife called on Friday evening with our NT results. It was a great way to start the weekend because all the tests came back "normal" and negative for Downs. She didn't give me specific numbers/odds - but I'm sure I'll get more details at my next appt.

Speaking of the next appt....I'm looking forward to an appointment with our OB this upcoming Thursday afternoon. :)

First Trimester Recap

Yes, you read that title correctly. On Monday, I will be 14 weeks and officially out of the first trimester. I didn't want to officially blog about the first trimester until I was reassured that the baby is okay. And yes, he/she is doing very well. We had our NT scan yesterday and it was amazing. I cannot believe how much the baby has grown and how much it actually looks like a real baby now. We won't receive results from the NT scan/blood work for about a week - but that's okay - we were just absolutely thrilled to see the baby measuring on track with a strong heartbeat and wiggling around like crazy.

Okay, on with the recap....

Symptoms:
Weeks 6-12 - "all day sickness", lots of dry heaving, throwing up from time to time, complete loss of appetite, nothing really tasted good to me and I was eating because I had to, sore breasts, bloated to the max, some lower back pain, a "pulling" like feeling in my lower pelvic area, FATIGUE (I'm still getting about 12 hours a sleep every night), and crazy dreams.


At the start of 13 weeks, I started feeling more like myself. I currently have waves of morning sickness, but I am so relieved the all day sickness has dissipated. My appetite has also picked up this week. I had my first ever foot-long meatball sub from Subway, and yes I ate every bite. The pregnancy brain has also kicked in. I actually forgot my phone at home when I went to work the other day and I've been making a lot of simple mistakes at work. There are days I don't feel safe driving because I feel so out of it.

Cravings: None really.

Aversions: Starbucks hot chocolate. I used to have one of these every single morning before work and the thought of one or any Starbucks related drink makes me actually gag.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet, although the only thing I wear to work is leggings because my pants are all now too snug. A few of them I can't button anymore and the ones I can still button are just too uncomfortable to wear all day at work. I plan to buy some more leggings this weekend and some additional loose fitting tops.

What I Miss: Absolutely nothing!

What I'm Looking Forward To: OB appointment in 2 weeks, telling the rest of the family, "showing" more, feeling movement, and eventually finding out the gender.

I start and end my days in the exact same way - in prayer. I thank God every single day for blessing me with each day of this pregnancy. I pray that he continues to keep our baby healthy and growing each day. I also pray that He comforts me and helps me to let go of any fears I have and that those fears can be replaced with faith and trust in Him.

And here is a picture of our lil one from the scan yesterday. Sorry, it's not the best quality - taken from my phone.

Graduation Day

Today was filled with a variety of emotions as it was my last official visit with my RE and also my first visit at the OB's office.

I started the day at the RE's office for my 11 week ultrasound. I was very nervous (as usual), but seemed even more uneasy as this was the first ultrasound my hubby couldn't be at. He works at a year round school and today was the first day of classes, so really difficult for him to get out of. Anyways, my RE put the wand in and for a second I was too afraid to look at the screen. But, I'm glad I did because it was instant relief as I saw our lil one moving around like crazy. He/she was very hyper today! My doctor had to try like 3 times for the heartbeat reading because the lil one would not sit still for a second. It was so amazing to watch. I've really been fortunate to have so many ultrasounds because I've had the opportunity to see our baby change week to week and it's miraculous! Today I saw much longer arms (not those cute tiny arm buds anymore) and actual fingers. I saw one ear too. The baby kept putting its arms up by his face and it looked like he/she was actually waving at us.

After the ultrasound, I had my official "graduation". Hugs from all the nurses and my doctor. I cried, of course. These women have taken such good care of me - physically and even more importantly, emotionally. They made me promise to come back with updates, which sure was an easy promise to make. I even got a graduation gift - subscription to FitPregnancy, a cute stuffed animal for the baby, and some baby accessories.

After the appointment with the RE, I found myself feeling very happy. I've always dreamed of a graduation day. So then I headed to another wing where my new home will be, the OB's office. I got to tell you - it felt really weird sitting in that office. I felt really out of place and as if I just wasn't like the other women sitting in there. Let's be honest, I'm not.

I met with one of the midwives and she was wonderful. She used to be an OB for years, so she has a wealth of knowledge and experience. She was one of the most thorough women I have ever met. I didn't walk out of there til 2 hours later. We did a complete medical history, a physical, blood work, and I even got my flu shot. I was really impressed with how much she had studied my records before I came in...I did feel as though she had an idea of what I've been through and I appreciate that.

I now am in the process of deciding if we will be doing the nuchal translucency screening or not. I know for a fact that there is nothing that could change the way I feel about this baby and that the results won't alter anything for us. So part of me doesn't feel the need to have it done. But, then on the other hand - if we don't have it done we won't have another ultrasound for 4 weeks!!! When she told me that, I nearly fell off of my chair. 4 weeks?!?! That sounds like eternity, especially after the special care I've been receiving with the RE's office. If I proceed with the nuchal translucency screening, I would then get to have an ultrasound again in about 2 weeks, which is very appealing to me. We'll see - waiting for hubby to get home to discuss. Any feedback you ladies have on this would be appreciated.

The midwife saw how anxious I was when hearing I will only be seen every 4 weeks. She tried reassuring me that things are looking great and that my chances of miscarriage have significantly dropped. And this is definitely the point, I keep reminding myself that I need to have "faith over fear", as amiracle4us so wonderfully put it.

New Year...New Joy

It's been such a long time since I've updated and I'm so sorry. The truth is I've been in shock and literally haven't been able to express everything I've been feeling. But please know I've been following your blogs and been thinking of you all so much!

In early December, hubby and I found out we are pregnant. And get this...naturally. Now considering my RE gave me about a 2% of ever conceiving naturally, I am in complete awe of this miracle. I look back at my recent posts and wonder if maybe there was a reason I was at such a standstill, not feeling led in any particular direction? Just maybe it was because this was the plan and now it's finally unfolding?!?!

At this point, I can't be sure...but I am praying with all of my heart that this could possibly be "it".

My RE's office has been amazing and has given me such thorough care. I've had 4 ultrasounds already! The first ultrasound was at 5w4d and we saw a gestational sac and yolk sac measuring on track. We came back at 7 weeks and had the most amazing experience ever of hearing the heartbeat for the first time at 118 bpm! However, at this point my RE also found a subchorionic hemorrhage in my uterus. She wanted to watch it closely and was hoping it would heal on its own. It was nice at this point to take a vacation to get my mind off everything - it really helped me to relax. I came back from vacation and saw the doctor the next day at 9 weeks. Once again we heard/saw the heartbeat which had risen to 175 bpm. We were extra lucky at this ultrasound because we got to see our lil miracle wiggling around like crazy...arms and legs!

But my doctor noticed that the subchorionic hemorrhage had grown larger and she had me go to radiology for a more thorough ultrasound. They found two separate bleeds. My doctor wasn't overly concerned since the baby was progressing as it should..she didn't think the bleeding was affecting the pregnancy. However, she informed me that we needed to keep a close eye on it and if it were to become worse or if I started bleeding externally that I would need to be on strict bedrest. Well, bedrest is just what I did that whole following weekend. I was feeling awful to begin with and hubby really wanted me to rest due to the hemorrhage.

We went back yesterday for our 10 week ultrasound and got great news. The bleeding has substantially decreased and my doctor said it is almost gone. It's healing on its own...thank you God. The baby was once again measuring right on track at 10w 1d with a heartbeat of 171 bpm. The baby gave us a nice show again and was like a lil teddy bear wiggling around. Since the hemorrhage was healing and the baby was making such good progress, she told me the chance of miscarriage had dropped to less 5%. I officially graduated from my RE yesterday and was referred to an OB.

Now don't get me wrong - I am fully aware that we are not out of the woods yet. I don't think I will be breathing easy anytime soon!!! After two losses and years of battling infertility, it's almost impossible to escape the worry. But at the same time, we are so thankful to be further than we ever have been before. I can't stop thanking God for every day of this pregnancy...every single day is a blessing.

I have my first appointment at the OB's office next week Wednesday. It will be with a nurse practitioner for her to gather all my history, do a physical, and do some blood work. I'll find out then when my first meeting will be with the OB. My RE is so wonderful..she knows it will be awhile til I have my first ultrasound with the OB so she said I could come back next week Wednesday for another ultrasound with her to try and hold me over. :) She completely understands how much I've been through and wants to do anything to try and alleviate any worries while I wait. I really appreciate that...it means so much to me. I don't know how I will ever thank her and the nursing staff there for taking such good care of me in every possible way. I feel at "home" there and am nervous about this transition to the OB...excited, but nervous.

I'll leave you today with a picture from the last day of vacation. This was the view from the verandah. As I gazed across the ocean and saw this..I couldn't help but thinking...maybe, just maybe this could be our rainbow baby?!