Cherish Each Day

Hi everyone! I don't even know where to start. Hubby and I did indeed decide to do a HPT on Labor Day. We just decided we wanted to find out together and didn't want to anticipate the phone call any longer. So we decided I would wake up that morning and we would test. So of course I woke up at 4:30 a.m. needing to pee bad. Well, the plan was I was going to pee, take the dog out, and then hubby and I would go back into the bathroom to check the result together. I peed on the stick and stood to clean myself up. Damn splattering! Anyways, I glanced over about 30 seconds later to check to see if the test was "working" and it actually said "Pregnant". I went into the bedroom literally SHAKING and told hubby the news. We ran back into the bathroom just to look again and make sure! It was the best feeling in the world to go back to bed and just hold each other and feel HAPPY. Of course we both couldn't fall back to sleep - so it was off to an early breakfast. Right before we left, I peed again on another stick and sure enough that one was pg too. No fluke.


So today was the official first beta, which also came along with an official pregnant. When the nurse was drawing the blood, I asked her "What kind of number are we looking/hoping for at this point (10dp5dt)?" She replied with "Well, we would be happy with any number but anything over 50 at this point is considered good". I got the call about an hour later that my beta was 82.6. So, yes this definitely confirms I am pregnant, but I know the second beta is even more important than the first. I am over the moon happy to be pregnant and to have made it this far! Remember, this was the cycle that I was told I had a 15% chance to get pregnant...and the same cycle that was almost cancelled because my ovaries weren't responding. The fact that I am pregnant is SUCH a miracle. I can't even begin to express how grateful I feel.

But I know all too well what infertility does to a person. And here I sit worried sick about my second beta on Thursday. I NEED this number to not only rise, but to double (or come close to). It's a very hard position to be in, because I have been in this place before and it ended traumatically. I can't help recalling feeling this joy before, to only be devastated when it ended in a miscarrige.

At the same time I want to be HAPPY and celebrate how far we've come...embrace it...cherish it! A few of my friends have reminded me.. "Live for today" and today I am pregnant. :)